The Frosty the Flow Man EP

by MC Lars

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released 20 December 2011

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Track Name: Frosty the Flow Man
"Frosty the Flow Man"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock

Welcome to the second MC Lars Christmas EP. We begin this EP with the story of a snowman. Now you've all heard of Frosty, but this isn't the typical Frosty the Snowman story. Gather around children, you might learn something.

Here's the story of a dude, his name was Frosty
Who made more money than the Insane Clown Posse
And he lived that rapper life, hella gold chains and ice
And he liked to show it off 'cause he was flossy
Made his living as the first rapping snowman
He was known around the world as quite a showman
But he started underground, working on a brand new sound
And his people called him Frosty the Flow Man
Starting winnin' local battles as an MC
But the problem was that Frosty wasn't friendly
And he stepped on people's toes, now everybody knows
That bad karma's riding shotgun in his Bentley
See he never paid his agent her commission
And cold-hearted that was Frosty's disposition
'Cause he spent it all on blow, put that snow right up in his nose
And he started making hella bad decisions

CHORUS:

Frosty the Flow Man,
Signed a major label deal
But the car he bought was just much too hot
And he could not keep it real

Frosty the Flow Man,
Sold his publishing they say
But his debts accrued, he annoyed his crew
And the bank took his house away

Yo Frosty, Frosty, please don't be so bossy,
Yelling at the engineer, like "Go get me coffee!"
Worse than Gaddafi, business skills on sloppy
Screaming at his publicist, "I told you make them glossy!"
Photo shoots, videos, YouTube and Vimeo
Caviar, escargot, it was quite a pitty yo,
It was all recoupable, something Frosty didn't know
Ego it began to grow, album sales began to slow
Eventually he lost all perspective
And the heat went to his head as expected
Local snowman rapper on that major label ladder
And the fans, well they grew less receptive
When his second album dropped it was dubstep
But his style wasn't known in those clubs yet
And the label wasn't stable, it turned out that they weren't able
to help Frosty move those units so they dumped him

CHORUS:

Frosty the Flow Man,
Knew his skills weren't hot that day
So he sold his car and he wrote 8 bars
On the debts he could not pay

Now Frosty the Flow Man,
Tried to make the voices stop
Every single night, smoking crack in his pipe
Getting drunk by the liquor shop

There must have been some angel dust in the coke rock that he found
'Cause when he smoked it all away he burned down half the town

CHORUS:

Frosty the Flowman
Was insane as he could be
And the cops they say when they locked him away
He was high on PCP

Frosty the Flowman
Is chillin' in the cell all alone
Serving fifteen years till his sentence clears
'Cause his chance in the game was blown

Rappity rap rap, rappity rap rap, look at Frosty go
Rappity rap rap, rappity rap rap, spending all his dough
Track Name: Holiday Treats (featuring Adam WarRock)
"Holiday Treats" (featuring Adam WarRock)
lyrics by MC Lars & Adam WarRock / beat by K-Murdock

One of the things I noticed about the holidays is that we all get together and eat hella sugar, ever year. We love to consume massive quantities colorful junk food, because it's tradition. I mean, we even make houses out of gingerbread just to eat them, that's crazy. Well, this year I'm hoping it's different, check out my plan, when it comes to holiday treats, I'm just saying no.

250, plus, that was my weight
Couldn't get laid, couldn't find a date
Rocking XL hoodies with that 40 inch waist
I was all up on the tour bus, straight stuffing my face
With cakes, and pies, and In-n-Out Burgers
Double double trouble, I had to take it further
Then I lost hella weight, and the ladies said, "Hi"
I had self-control and I figured out why
I ate to escape all the pain and depression
But food's not therapy, so I learned my lesson
With protein, salads and light Italian dressin'
Eggs in the morning, a brand new expression
Of health, so alive, 'cause my life was back on track
I lost sixty pounds, didn't want to gain it back
Now the holidays are coming so I wrote a little poem
'Cause I'd hate to spend New Year's alone (and it goes)

CHORUS:

When you're chubby
Girls won't sleep with you
When you're skinny
Hella girls sleep with you

When you're hefty
Bloggers make fun of you
Get those holiday treats off the menu

When you're chubby
Girls won't sleep with you
When you're skinny
Hot girls sleep with you

When you're portly
People make fun of you
Get those holiday treats off the menu

Once a upon a time I was on the swim team scarfin'
Everything I could, but these days I'd be barfin'
Back then adolescence had me growing on the daily
But I tried to keep the same caloric intake going maybe
But then I realized something, it was kind of obvious
Life is still delicious, no matter what the topping is
You're body's always changing, you've got to keep on top of it
Metabolism switches really there's no stoppin' it
It's all good though, take a deep breath,
Meditate a little, decimate the stress
Have a healthy meal, watch your favorite movie
Like "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" while snackin' on some sushi
Eddie Valiant stopped drinking he was thinking it was time
To put away the past and help Roger solve the crime
So please keep the pounds off, I'm guessing a
Balanced healthy meal will help you pull a chick like Jessica

REPEAT CHORUS

Red Bull? We ain't drinkin' it
Mountain Dew? We ain't drinkin' it
Monster Energy? We ain't drinkin' it
Coca Cola? We ain't drinkin' it
Sprite? Nah, we ain't drinkin' it
Dr. Pepper? We ain't drinkin' it
Crystal Pepsi? We ain't drinkin' it
(Adam WarRock, tell 'em what you're thinkin' kid)

ADAM WARROCK VERSE:

Ayo ho ho ho, yo Lars why you frontin'?
Comin' to get these cookies and milk, the Crunch 'n Munch
Up in the popcorn tins
And candy canes and gummy drops
Filling up your stockings, till the point it makes your tummy pop
Step into my gingerbread house, the second level
Take the staircase, now my breathing's all disheveled
And now I'm huffing and puffing, from thanksgiving stuffing
And the Halloween candy
My blood pressure's is rough and
Holidays come, they talk of mirth and glee
But deep down inside, the people hurting you see
So they fill it up with consumerism
While drinkin' themselves into oblivion
And chase it with high fructose syrup in
Holiday treats should be the people you love
And all the memories of the past year that you dug
I'm glad that I met Lars, thankful that he's feeling healthy
Indie rap, positivity, knowledge of self, b!
Track Name: How the Grinch Occupied Whoville
"How the Grinch Occupied Whoville"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by Dicepticon

Each Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot
But the Grinch up north, well he sure did not
He sure hated Christmas and hated the season
Don't ask me why, no one knows the reason
As the 1% with a grinchy frown
And that corporate greed, 'cause he couldn't be down
With the joyful smiles of the girls and boys
Making hella Christmas noise with their Christmas toys
That he wanted for himself so the Grinch began
To occupy Whoville, with a twisted a plan
With a coat and a hat and a Grinchy trick
He chuckled and clucked, "I look like St. Nick"
His reindeer, in fact, it was Max the dog
Red thread on his head with a horn tied on
He loaded some bags and some empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh that he hitched to Max
The windows were dark and snow filled the air
The Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
He slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
If Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
Too big to fail, he was unregulated
Like banks up on Wall Street with pockets inflated
Heart was so greedy, proceeded to take
The iPads, and laptops and new roller skates
Up in the icebox, he stole the whole feast
The pudding, the ham, the corn and roast beef
Stuffed the food in the chimney and left with much glee
"And now" said the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree"
but then he heard something, it was a small Who
Who yelled "Hold on, stop!" it was young Cindy Liu
She stood there upset, a sad look on her face
He sprayed her with mace and was out of that place

CHORUS:

This is how the Grinch, this is how the Grinch
This is how the Grinch occupied Whoville

At a quarter past two, the Whos still in bed,
All still a-snooze, so he packed up his sled
He packed it with presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags and the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up on the side of the mountain
He rode with the loot and decided to count it
He thought of the Whos, 99% percent
Now he was the richest, he knew what it meant
He gambled the hedge-funds and merged all the banks
For the GLB act, he had to give thanks
With no limitation to all he could earn
The billions of dollars in wealth he observed
He thought of Whos all lining the streets
"We're starving" they'd say, "we have nothing to eat"
He laughed till he heard something else in the snow,
It started out low, then it began grow
This sound wasn't sad! This sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so but it was merry, very!
He starred down in Who-ville, and popped out his eyes
He couldn't believe this amazing surprise
Each Who down in Who--ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing - so loud with no presents at all
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same
He thought, "Maybe my greed is destructive and wrong"
He ran down the hill and joined in on their song
He gave back the gifts and carved up the roast
A glass in his hand, led them all in a toast
What happened right then - well in Whoville the say
the Grinch's small heart, got much bigger that day
Everyone cheered and they all gave much thanks
He occupied Whoville, restructured the banks

REPEAT CHORUS

They repealed the Gramm-Leach-Bliley act
While the hedge-fund gamblers all got taxed
And the bailouts got paid for by the banks in fact
Merry Christmas everyone, so occupy that!
Track Name: Puking on Thanksgiving
"Puking on Thanksgiving"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock

You know, there's something really special about Thanksgiving. Coming back from tour and confronting the emotional crises in the house you grew up in, dealing with depression and alienation of an unconventional and financially unstable career. Ah yes, home for the holidays.

I know I'm alone, I'm okay with that
'cause I've been on my own since way, way back
put my feelings on the map, well where I'm at
Is lost in this desert, as a matter of fact
On airports, trains, no sleep exhausted
I got too wasted, I guess I lost it
Came home for Thanksgiving, throwing up on the floor
Till my sister came knocking on the bathroom door
(Are you okay?) Yeah I am,
stressed out about the distro deal I'm chasing in Japan
And the emails from the fans, piled up like "Damn"
Where's my purple hoodie? Probably left it in the van
Horris Records is a label that is very DIY
Maybe too DIY for just one guy, that's why
That's why I pile work on my desk hella high
'cause life is meaningless and we're going too die

CHORUS:

Puking on Thanksgiving

Warped Tour, England, time away
Ending my relationships in every day
But I can't kill myself, because I don't play
With suicide bro, no not today
But I get so down when I read the news
On earthquakes, floods and droughts, typhoons
And what will Sydney in 2052?
When the city's underwater, got the global warming blues
So I back and laugh with a turkey plate
Excused myself but it was just too late
"Uh where'd Lars go?" "I think he's taking a bath"
"In the middle of dinner?" "Dad don't ask"
Crawled into bed then I fell asleep
Woke up at 4, guess I really shouldn't drink
Time with the family? Not this year
LOL depression, pain, guilt and fear

CHORUS:

Puking on Thanksgiving.

Don't tell PETA
Don't tell PETA I ate the turkey

I'm sorry I puked all over the floor mom and dad! Touring is hard. I have to get up at 3, soundcheck at 5, sign autographs and sell t-shirts and rap. My life is so hard, oh God. Next year I won't make a mess. Peace.
Track Name: 2011 (Rolling Stone Subscription)
"2011 (Rolling Stone Subscription)"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by Chryso

Oh good, I got it.

CHORUS:

Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone subscription
Rolling Stone, it's what I want for Christmas

TI, Drake, From First to Last, Skrillex, Vevo, Afrojack
Donald Glover, Patti Smith, Tinie Tempah, Limp Bizkit
Larry David, Yoko Ono, Lil Wayne, Ice Loves Coco
Kiki Kannibal, Super 8, Lady Gaga, Ricky Gervais
Wiz Khalifa, Sat Your Goals, Straight edge punk, LMFAO
Hyro da Hero, Donald Trump, Nas, Mod Sun, Pendulum
Andy Samberg, Australian fires, Tom Morello, Steven Tyler
Game of Thrones, Breathe Carolina, Moby, Beck, Bob Dylan in China

REPEAT CHORUS

Yelawolf, Facebook, Avril Lavigne, Swedish House Mafia, Charlie Sheen
Larry David, REM, Mumford & Sons, David Letterman
Kim Kardashian, A Day to Remember, Coheed, My Chem changing members
Bad Meets Evil, Amanda Knox, Spotify, Sole, the Office, Rick Ross
Michelle Bachman, David Guetta, Katy Perry, Tony Bennet
The Beastie Boys, the Dalai Lama, Willow Smith, Libya, Obama
Howard Stern, the Walking Dead, Yuck, No Doubt, Bin Laden
Adele, Odd Future, Pusha-T, John Stewart, Bill Mar, Bruce Springstein

REPEAT CHORUS

The Voice, Trent Reznor Young Jeezy
Das Racist, Big K.R.I.T.
The Black Keys, Primus, Rush, Jay-Z
NKOTBSB
Heavy D RIP, Amy Winehouse RIP
Gil Scott-Heron RIP, The singer from Warrant RIP

REPEAT CHORUS
Track Name: MC Lars is Coming to Town
"MC Lars Is Coming to Town"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock

Wow! Look who's playing tonight! It's my favorite rapper ever, plus it's all ages show. Let's go Felix! It will be the most joyful evening ever. But of course, let's make sure we do our homework first, time management is awesome. Holler.

DIY, yeah I still be that guy
California love lookin' fly 'til I die
Sci-fi with that Ray Bradbury on my lap
Got those lit-hop rhymes that I rap, then I nap
Childlike wonder, forever stayin' young
Reading Robert Crumb, always having fun
San Fran is the place where I left my heart
You might find me at the MoMa with a passion for art
And that punk rock energy, hippie kindness
Read some Walt Whitman it reminds us
To lay back on that transcendental
Buddhist clarity, relax your mental
I'm in the Prius crusin', you see these custom plates
Servivin' all the fiends over there by the Gold Gate
Chill with me, when you hear that fresh sound
Because MC Lars is coming to your town

CHORUS

You better get hyphy
Hands in the sky
Daily and nightly
Wave 'em up high
MC Lars is coming to town
MC Lars is coming to town

He's writing dope rhymes
And reppin' the Yay;
Making hot beats
With something to say
MC Lars is coming to town
MC Lars is coming to town

What makes you happy? What brings you peace?
Sufjan Stevens newest CD?
Hip-hop, Rick Ross or philosophy?
Kanye West? Nas? Jay-Z?
They're all great people, all great artists,
But success comes to those who work the hardest
So update your Twitter, update your status
Spread it world wide and perfect your practice
You can be a star in the shining night
I learned how to be a rapper through rhyming tight
My ego? Had to put it way
Because we don't exist, and it's all okay
And nothing is real, we're floating space
Impermanent life with the dreams we chase
The rhymes that I drop, well they're so profound
Because MC Lars is coming to town

REPEAT CHORUS

You feel him when he's flowing
You know he keeps it real
He's done this ish for ten whole years
Without a record deal

You read it when he's tweeting
He never takes a break
You see him selling merch at shows
With high fives and handshakes
Oh!

Leprechauns for Christmas look what I got
Small Irish men in my holiday sock
They danced around it was so absurd
Bouncing off the walls like some Angry Birds
I said, "Y'all need to stop, you're making a mess"
I was in my boxers, I was barely dressed
And I must confess it was hella bizarre
The way I fit the whole entire posse all in my car
Drove into to town, this was my goal
To send the whole crew back to the North pole
Or Dublin, whatever, it was quite ridiculous
My plan was really solid and I knew I had to stick with it
Got to the post office it was closed
The UPS store, it was closed
They're driving me insane, it was getting really old
My 27 friends, well they really had to go
"We're not leaving," they said defiantly
What could I do? I had to silence the
Irish folk songs that they sang for hours
Drove back home, locked them in the shower
They started to yell, they started to scream
But then I woke up, it was all a bad dream
Or was it? I checked my stocking
Turned around, heard someone talking
A jolly fat man in a big red suit
And y'all know who I was talking to
My boy Felix, he's always wearing red
He said merry Christmas I brought you some bread
I said "Bread like skrill?" he said, "no rhye"
This verse is mad confusing, so please don't even try
To analyze my Jungian significance
The meaning is dissembled by some mad poetic dissonance

REPEAT CHORUS

Oh man, Felix, that was such a great show. I can't believe we got to meet him. He looked so sad though, all that pain behind his eyes. I hope he doesn't commit suicide before next Christmas. I heard he's been puking on Thanksgiving.
Track Name: A Song for Steve
"A Song for Steve"
lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock

"Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path... and that will make all the difference." - Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

A visionary passed away,
In Silicon Valley where the orchards sway
An adopted kid with a curious mind,
Sticking bobby pins in every single outlet he could find
He burned his hands but somehow survived
Drank ant poison but stayed alive
Moved to Mountain View at the age of three
Met Steve Wozniak when he was just fourteen
They understood each other, went phone phreakin'
Blue box hacking, sold them every weekend
Fell in love with a girl, and dropped mad acid
Processed the pain, 'cause he felt so abandoned
By his birth parents, so he played guitar
Wrote poems in a cabin that was tucked away far
In the mountains, way above Cupertino
Went to Reed college, but never finished we know
That a trip to India would teach him much more,
Hiked the Himalayas with no remorse
Built a new computer in his mom's garage
Named from an Apple farm that Steve Jobs saw
When he came back home, born to be inventive
Emulate Atari, that was his incentive
Affordable computers on every desk
'Cause power to the people would bring success
And when the Apple II had run its course
He looked to Xerox as the desktop source
Hijacked the mouse, but Steve was fired
In a corporate clash, so he soon he conspired
To build the NeXT machine, with $20 million
From Ross Perot, but it hit a ceiling
It was too expensive, though well designed
Meanwhile Bill Gates stole Windows 95
From the Mas OS, Gates made a killing
So Jobs bought Pixar and made more than a billion
With a groundbreaking film, Toy Story was a hit
And Disney had his back to help market it
Meanwhile, financially Apple was in trouble
So they asked Steve back to come burst the bubble
And the iMac? It was a huge success
They focused on content to relieve the stress
When iTunes debuted we said, "Oh my God"
Putting music and movies, on our new iPods
Now iPhones and iPads are everywhere
"Life happens in a flash" Steve once declared
He fused corporate culture, with the 60s dream
And taught the whole world to think differently
He died at 56 on October 5th in 2011 at home with his wife and kids
And I want to thank you Steve for the inspiration
And everything you did for the iGeneration
'Cause I still see your spirit in the eyes of youth
In everything we do, we remember you
The visionary that passed away,
In Silicon Valley where the orchards sway
An adopted kid with a curious mind
In a world that he saw that he re-defined

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith." - Steve Jobs