The Frosty the Flow Man EP

by MC Lars

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1.
"Frosty the Flow Man" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock Welcome to the second MC Lars Christmas EP. We begin this EP with the story of a snowman. Now you've all heard of Frosty, but this isn't the typical Frosty the Snowman story. Gather around children, you might learn something. Here's the story of a dude, his name was Frosty Who made more money than the Insane Clown Posse And he lived that rapper life, hella gold chains and ice And he liked to show it off 'cause he was flossy Made his living as the first rapping snowman He was known around the world as quite a showman But he started underground, working on a brand new sound And his people called him Frosty the Flow Man Starting winnin' local battles as an MC But the problem was that Frosty wasn't friendly And he stepped on people's toes, now everybody knows That bad karma's riding shotgun in his Bentley See he never paid his agent her commission And cold-hearted that was Frosty's disposition 'Cause he spent it all on blow, put that snow right up in his nose And he started making hella bad decisions CHORUS: Frosty the Flow Man, Signed a major label deal But the car he bought was just much too hot And he could not keep it real Frosty the Flow Man, Sold his publishing they say But his debts accrued, he annoyed his crew And the bank took his house away Yo Frosty, Frosty, please don't be so bossy, Yelling at the engineer, like "Go get me coffee!" Worse than Gaddafi, business skills on sloppy Screaming at his publicist, "I told you make them glossy!" Photo shoots, videos, YouTube and Vimeo Caviar, escargot, it was quite a pitty yo, It was all recoupable, something Frosty didn't know Ego it began to grow, album sales began to slow Eventually he lost all perspective And the heat went to his head as expected Local snowman rapper on that major label ladder And the fans, well they grew less receptive When his second album dropped it was dubstep But his style wasn't known in those clubs yet And the label wasn't stable, it turned out that they weren't able to help Frosty move those units so they dumped him CHORUS: Frosty the Flow Man, Knew his skills weren't hot that day So he sold his car and he wrote 8 bars On the debts he could not pay Now Frosty the Flow Man, Tried to make the voices stop Every single night, smoking crack in his pipe Getting drunk by the liquor shop There must have been some angel dust in the coke rock that he found 'Cause when he smoked it all away he burned down half the town CHORUS: Frosty the Flowman Was insane as he could be And the cops they say when they locked him away He was high on PCP Frosty the Flowman Is chillin' in the cell all alone Serving fifteen years till his sentence clears 'Cause his chance in the game was blown Rappity rap rap, rappity rap rap, look at Frosty go Rappity rap rap, rappity rap rap, spending all his dough
2.
"Holiday Treats" (featuring Adam WarRock) lyrics by MC Lars & Adam WarRock / beat by K-Murdock One of the things I noticed about the holidays is that we all get together and eat hella sugar, ever year. We love to consume massive quantities colorful junk food, because it's tradition. I mean, we even make houses out of gingerbread just to eat them, that's crazy. Well, this year I'm hoping it's different, check out my plan, when it comes to holiday treats, I'm just saying no. 250, plus, that was my weight Couldn't get laid, couldn't find a date Rocking XL hoodies with that 40 inch waist I was all up on the tour bus, straight stuffing my face With cakes, and pies, and In-n-Out Burgers Double double trouble, I had to take it further Then I lost hella weight, and the ladies said, "Hi" I had self-control and I figured out why I ate to escape all the pain and depression But food's not therapy, so I learned my lesson With protein, salads and light Italian dressin' Eggs in the morning, a brand new expression Of health, so alive, 'cause my life was back on track I lost sixty pounds, didn't want to gain it back Now the holidays are coming so I wrote a little poem 'Cause I'd hate to spend New Year's alone (and it goes) CHORUS: When you're chubby Girls won't sleep with you When you're skinny Hella girls sleep with you When you're hefty Bloggers make fun of you Get those holiday treats off the menu When you're chubby Girls won't sleep with you When you're skinny Hot girls sleep with you When you're portly People make fun of you Get those holiday treats off the menu Once a upon a time I was on the swim team scarfin' Everything I could, but these days I'd be barfin' Back then adolescence had me growing on the daily But I tried to keep the same caloric intake going maybe But then I realized something, it was kind of obvious Life is still delicious, no matter what the topping is You're body's always changing, you've got to keep on top of it Metabolism switches really there's no stoppin' it It's all good though, take a deep breath, Meditate a little, decimate the stress Have a healthy meal, watch your favorite movie Like "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" while snackin' on some sushi Eddie Valiant stopped drinking he was thinking it was time To put away the past and help Roger solve the crime So please keep the pounds off, I'm guessing a Balanced healthy meal will help you pull a chick like Jessica REPEAT CHORUS Red Bull? We ain't drinkin' it Mountain Dew? We ain't drinkin' it Monster Energy? We ain't drinkin' it Coca Cola? We ain't drinkin' it Sprite? Nah, we ain't drinkin' it Dr. Pepper? We ain't drinkin' it Crystal Pepsi? We ain't drinkin' it (Adam WarRock, tell 'em what you're thinkin' kid) ADAM WARROCK VERSE: Ayo ho ho ho, yo Lars why you frontin'? Comin' to get these cookies and milk, the Crunch 'n Munch Up in the popcorn tins And candy canes and gummy drops Filling up your stockings, till the point it makes your tummy pop Step into my gingerbread house, the second level Take the staircase, now my breathing's all disheveled And now I'm huffing and puffing, from thanksgiving stuffing And the Halloween candy My blood pressure's is rough and Holidays come, they talk of mirth and glee But deep down inside, the people hurting you see So they fill it up with consumerism While drinkin' themselves into oblivion And chase it with high fructose syrup in Holiday treats should be the people you love And all the memories of the past year that you dug I'm glad that I met Lars, thankful that he's feeling healthy Indie rap, positivity, knowledge of self, b!
3.
"How the Grinch Occupied Whoville" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by Dicepticon Each Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot But the Grinch up north, well he sure did not He sure hated Christmas and hated the season Don't ask me why, no one knows the reason As the 1% with a grinchy frown And that corporate greed, 'cause he couldn't be down With the joyful smiles of the girls and boys Making hella Christmas noise with their Christmas toys That he wanted for himself so the Grinch began To occupy Whoville, with a twisted a plan With a coat and a hat and a Grinchy trick He chuckled and clucked, "I look like St. Nick" His reindeer, in fact, it was Max the dog Red thread on his head with a horn tied on He loaded some bags and some empty sacks On a ramshackle sleigh that he hitched to Max The windows were dark and snow filled the air The Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care He slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch If Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch Too big to fail, he was unregulated Like banks up on Wall Street with pockets inflated Heart was so greedy, proceeded to take The iPads, and laptops and new roller skates Up in the icebox, he stole the whole feast The pudding, the ham, the corn and roast beef Stuffed the food in the chimney and left with much glee "And now" said the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree" but then he heard something, it was a small Who Who yelled "Hold on, stop!" it was young Cindy Liu She stood there upset, a sad look on her face He sprayed her with mace and was out of that place CHORUS: This is how the Grinch, this is how the Grinch This is how the Grinch occupied Whoville At a quarter past two, the Whos still in bed, All still a-snooze, so he packed up his sled He packed it with presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags and the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up on the side of the mountain He rode with the loot and decided to count it He thought of the Whos, 99% percent Now he was the richest, he knew what it meant He gambled the hedge-funds and merged all the banks For the GLB act, he had to give thanks With no limitation to all he could earn The billions of dollars in wealth he observed He thought of Whos all lining the streets "We're starving" they'd say, "we have nothing to eat" He laughed till he heard something else in the snow, It started out low, then it began grow This sound wasn't sad! This sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so but it was merry, very! He starred down in Who-ville, and popped out his eyes He couldn't believe this amazing surprise Each Who down in Who--ville, the tall and the small, Was singing - so loud with no presents at all He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came! Somehow or other, it came just the same He thought, "Maybe my greed is destructive and wrong" He ran down the hill and joined in on their song He gave back the gifts and carved up the roast A glass in his hand, led them all in a toast What happened right then - well in Whoville the say the Grinch's small heart, got much bigger that day Everyone cheered and they all gave much thanks He occupied Whoville, restructured the banks REPEAT CHORUS They repealed the Gramm-Leach-Bliley act While the hedge-fund gamblers all got taxed And the bailouts got paid for by the banks in fact Merry Christmas everyone, so occupy that!
4.
"Puking on Thanksgiving" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock You know, there's something really special about Thanksgiving. Coming back from tour and confronting the emotional crises in the house you grew up in, dealing with depression and alienation of an unconventional and financially unstable career. Ah yes, home for the holidays. I know I'm alone, I'm okay with that 'cause I've been on my own since way, way back put my feelings on the map, well where I'm at Is lost in this desert, as a matter of fact On airports, trains, no sleep exhausted I got too wasted, I guess I lost it Came home for Thanksgiving, throwing up on the floor Till my sister came knocking on the bathroom door (Are you okay?) Yeah I am, stressed out about the distro deal I'm chasing in Japan And the emails from the fans, piled up like "Damn" Where's my purple hoodie? Probably left it in the van Horris Records is a label that is very DIY Maybe too DIY for just one guy, that's why That's why I pile work on my desk hella high 'cause life is meaningless and we're going too die CHORUS: Puking on Thanksgiving Warped Tour, England, time away Ending my relationships in every day But I can't kill myself, because I don't play With suicide bro, no not today But I get so down when I read the news On earthquakes, floods and droughts, typhoons And what will Sydney in 2052? When the city's underwater, got the global warming blues So I back and laugh with a turkey plate Excused myself but it was just too late "Uh where'd Lars go?" "I think he's taking a bath" "In the middle of dinner?" "Dad don't ask" Crawled into bed then I fell asleep Woke up at 4, guess I really shouldn't drink Time with the family? Not this year LOL depression, pain, guilt and fear CHORUS: Puking on Thanksgiving. Don't tell PETA Don't tell PETA I ate the turkey I'm sorry I puked all over the floor mom and dad! Touring is hard. I have to get up at 3, soundcheck at 5, sign autographs and sell t-shirts and rap. My life is so hard, oh God. Next year I won't make a mess. Peace.
5.
"2011 (Rolling Stone Subscription)" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by Chryso Oh good, I got it. CHORUS: Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone subscription Rolling Stone, it's what I want for Christmas TI, Drake, From First to Last, Skrillex, Vevo, Afrojack Donald Glover, Patti Smith, Tinie Tempah, Limp Bizkit Larry David, Yoko Ono, Lil Wayne, Ice Loves Coco Kiki Kannibal, Super 8, Lady Gaga, Ricky Gervais Wiz Khalifa, Sat Your Goals, Straight edge punk, LMFAO Hyro da Hero, Donald Trump, Nas, Mod Sun, Pendulum Andy Samberg, Australian fires, Tom Morello, Steven Tyler Game of Thrones, Breathe Carolina, Moby, Beck, Bob Dylan in China REPEAT CHORUS Yelawolf, Facebook, Avril Lavigne, Swedish House Mafia, Charlie Sheen Larry David, REM, Mumford & Sons, David Letterman Kim Kardashian, A Day to Remember, Coheed, My Chem changing members Bad Meets Evil, Amanda Knox, Spotify, Sole, the Office, Rick Ross Michelle Bachman, David Guetta, Katy Perry, Tony Bennet The Beastie Boys, the Dalai Lama, Willow Smith, Libya, Obama Howard Stern, the Walking Dead, Yuck, No Doubt, Bin Laden Adele, Odd Future, Pusha-T, John Stewart, Bill Mar, Bruce Springstein REPEAT CHORUS The Voice, Trent Reznor Young Jeezy Das Racist, Big K.R.I.T. The Black Keys, Primus, Rush, Jay-Z NKOTBSB Heavy D RIP, Amy Winehouse RIP Gil Scott-Heron RIP, The singer from Warrant RIP REPEAT CHORUS
6.
"MC Lars Is Coming to Town" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock Wow! Look who's playing tonight! It's my favorite rapper ever, plus it's all ages show. Let's go Felix! It will be the most joyful evening ever. But of course, let's make sure we do our homework first, time management is awesome. Holler. DIY, yeah I still be that guy California love lookin' fly 'til I die Sci-fi with that Ray Bradbury on my lap Got those lit-hop rhymes that I rap, then I nap Childlike wonder, forever stayin' young Reading Robert Crumb, always having fun San Fran is the place where I left my heart You might find me at the MoMa with a passion for art And that punk rock energy, hippie kindness Read some Walt Whitman it reminds us To lay back on that transcendental Buddhist clarity, relax your mental I'm in the Prius crusin', you see these custom plates Servivin' all the fiends over there by the Gold Gate Chill with me, when you hear that fresh sound Because MC Lars is coming to your town CHORUS You better get hyphy Hands in the sky Daily and nightly Wave 'em up high MC Lars is coming to town MC Lars is coming to town He's writing dope rhymes And reppin' the Yay; Making hot beats With something to say MC Lars is coming to town MC Lars is coming to town What makes you happy? What brings you peace? Sufjan Stevens newest CD? Hip-hop, Rick Ross or philosophy? Kanye West? Nas? Jay-Z? They're all great people, all great artists, But success comes to those who work the hardest So update your Twitter, update your status Spread it world wide and perfect your practice You can be a star in the shining night I learned how to be a rapper through rhyming tight My ego? Had to put it way Because we don't exist, and it's all okay And nothing is real, we're floating space Impermanent life with the dreams we chase The rhymes that I drop, well they're so profound Because MC Lars is coming to town REPEAT CHORUS You feel him when he's flowing You know he keeps it real He's done this ish for ten whole years Without a record deal You read it when he's tweeting He never takes a break You see him selling merch at shows With high fives and handshakes Oh! Leprechauns for Christmas look what I got Small Irish men in my holiday sock They danced around it was so absurd Bouncing off the walls like some Angry Birds I said, "Y'all need to stop, you're making a mess" I was in my boxers, I was barely dressed And I must confess it was hella bizarre The way I fit the whole entire posse all in my car Drove into to town, this was my goal To send the whole crew back to the North pole Or Dublin, whatever, it was quite ridiculous My plan was really solid and I knew I had to stick with it Got to the post office it was closed The UPS store, it was closed They're driving me insane, it was getting really old My 27 friends, well they really had to go "We're not leaving," they said defiantly What could I do? I had to silence the Irish folk songs that they sang for hours Drove back home, locked them in the shower They started to yell, they started to scream But then I woke up, it was all a bad dream Or was it? I checked my stocking Turned around, heard someone talking A jolly fat man in a big red suit And y'all know who I was talking to My boy Felix, he's always wearing red He said merry Christmas I brought you some bread I said "Bread like skrill?" he said, "no rhye" This verse is mad confusing, so please don't even try To analyze my Jungian significance The meaning is dissembled by some mad poetic dissonance REPEAT CHORUS Oh man, Felix, that was such a great show. I can't believe we got to meet him. He looked so sad though, all that pain behind his eyes. I hope he doesn't commit suicide before next Christmas. I heard he's been puking on Thanksgiving.
7.
"A Song for Steve" lyrics by MC Lars / beat by K-Murdock "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path... and that will make all the difference." - Steve Jobs (1955-2011) A visionary passed away, In Silicon Valley where the orchards sway An adopted kid with a curious mind, Sticking bobby pins in every single outlet he could find He burned his hands but somehow survived Drank ant poison but stayed alive Moved to Mountain View at the age of three Met Steve Wozniak when he was just fourteen They understood each other, went phone phreakin' Blue box hacking, sold them every weekend Fell in love with a girl, and dropped mad acid Processed the pain, 'cause he felt so abandoned By his birth parents, so he played guitar Wrote poems in a cabin that was tucked away far In the mountains, way above Cupertino Went to Reed college, but never finished we know That a trip to India would teach him much more, Hiked the Himalayas with no remorse Built a new computer in his mom's garage Named from an Apple farm that Steve Jobs saw When he came back home, born to be inventive Emulate Atari, that was his incentive Affordable computers on every desk 'Cause power to the people would bring success And when the Apple II had run its course He looked to Xerox as the desktop source Hijacked the mouse, but Steve was fired In a corporate clash, so he soon he conspired To build the NeXT machine, with $20 million From Ross Perot, but it hit a ceiling It was too expensive, though well designed Meanwhile Bill Gates stole Windows 95 From the Mas OS, Gates made a killing So Jobs bought Pixar and made more than a billion With a groundbreaking film, Toy Story was a hit And Disney had his back to help market it Meanwhile, financially Apple was in trouble So they asked Steve back to come burst the bubble And the iMac? It was a huge success They focused on content to relieve the stress When iTunes debuted we said, "Oh my God" Putting music and movies, on our new iPods Now iPhones and iPads are everywhere "Life happens in a flash" Steve once declared He fused corporate culture, with the 60s dream And taught the whole world to think differently He died at 56 on October 5th in 2011 at home with his wife and kids And I want to thank you Steve for the inspiration And everything you did for the iGeneration 'Cause I still see your spirit in the eyes of youth In everything we do, we remember you The visionary that passed away, In Silicon Valley where the orchards sway An adopted kid with a curious mind In a world that he saw that he re-defined "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith." - Steve Jobs

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released December 20, 2011

Tracks 1, 2, 4, 6 & 7 produced by K-Murdock.
Vocals on track 3, 4 and 6 by Damondrick Jack.

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MC Lars Oakland, California

Post-punk laptop rap.

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