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Do the Bruce Campbell (feat. YTCracker & ZeaLouS1)

from The Friendalorians by MC Lars & Schäffer the Darklord



Lars: Wait what’s that noise? YTCracker, are those zombies?
YT: Zombies in the studio!
Lars: This is our horrorcore song because it has zombies on it
YT: It sounds like a horrorcore song
Lars: You know who we should get on this track to help us out?
YT: I’m thinking Zealous1 and Schaffer the Darklord
Lars: Heck yeah!
YT: What should we call it Lars?
Lars: I think we should call it Bruce Campbell

Fresh from the cemetery, I’m a terrifying sight
With little bits of bloody flesh stuck to my mic
I will ruin you, reduce you to a puddle where you stand
Once I tear into your torso with my cold, dead hands
Blood, sweat and tears from your wounds start spewing
Fill a water bottle, swallow all your bodily fluids
You are nailed to a wall, full of holes like a dartboard
Still think you’re hardcore? Bow to your Darklord!
Splatter from the axe turns a blue shirt red
Severed head in a vise inside of my work shed
Deadheads get brains, Pinheads get chains
I annihilate you, then I violate your remains
You choked and you froze ’cause you got so scared
Toss your body in the cellar, hope you rot down there
Where upon your meat and screams, awful goblins feed
Bleedat! But never mind the “at,” just bleed!

Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell
Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle
Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle
D-d-d-d-do the Bruce Campbell

Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell
Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle
Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle
Protect your neck and do the Bruce Campbell

They need brains not the kind that you get in the back of a car
At the drive in but the kind where they’re hiding in fear
Laid up in a creaky house where the people shout
Night of the living dead instead full moon rising
Their surprising every chick with their shirt torn off
Got an axe with the blade worn off
They roam in the shadows split their melon
I’m telling talking bout the zombies stalking
Victims with a stick ‘em up
Dead flesh rotten don’t pick them up
On the side of the road or get yourself throwed
Become one of them and walk all slowed
On a quest for the grey matter nothing phatter
Than a mind like mine when the zombies dine

Repeat chorus

Back from the dead, got a bullet in my head
And 37 more from the buckshot spread
Suicidal thoughts like frost in your spine
The dragon won’t sleep till your souls all mine
Cut the flesh, blood spillin will entice me
I promise when I carve my name I’ll do it very nicely
Precisely, show your ladies I'm the best at this
I got them screamin for the zealous as the sexorcist
Don't mess with this, you just can’t hide
Ain’t gonna stop till the knifes inside
Twist to the left, lemme see your eyes
Twist to the right, I wanna taste you die

I stalk MC’s who are not believers
Make a microphone stand outta both their femurs
I love screamers, uh oh lets go
Gimme some sugar baby and do the Bruce Campbell


Jeffrey Dahmer, here’s my story
You abhor me, you deplore me
Much too gory, violent glory
But this never would have happen if you hadn’t ignored me!
You laughed at me and my fat retainer
Now your son Stew is frozen in my refrigerator
If you’d just said hello when I passed in the hall
I wouldn’t be snacking on your dead boyfriend Paul
It’s just another day at the Ambassador Hotel
Milwaukee’s best travel bargain, please ignore the smell
Shrunken heads severed limbs, I’m mad belligerent
Murderous cannibal, far from innocent
The Dahmer Dinner Party is the best it’s true
And everywhere I go, I’ll take a part of you
There’s a key downstairs, and your name’s on it
I’ll get the stains out, you bring the comet


from The Friendalorians, released February 28, 2020


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MC Lars Oakland, California

Post-punk laptop rap.


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