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Holiday Treats (featuring Adam WarRock)

from The Frosty the Flow Man EP by MC Lars



"Holiday Treats" (featuring Adam WarRock)
lyrics by MC Lars & Adam WarRock / beat by K-Murdock

One of the things I noticed about the holidays is that we all get together and eat hella sugar, ever year. We love to consume massive quantities colorful junk food, because it's tradition. I mean, we even make houses out of gingerbread just to eat them, that's crazy. Well, this year I'm hoping it's different, check out my plan, when it comes to holiday treats, I'm just saying no.

250, plus, that was my weight
Couldn't get laid, couldn't find a date
Rocking XL hoodies with that 40 inch waist
I was all up on the tour bus, straight stuffing my face
With cakes, and pies, and In-n-Out Burgers
Double double trouble, I had to take it further
Then I lost hella weight, and the ladies said, "Hi"
I had self-control and I figured out why
I ate to escape all the pain and depression
But food's not therapy, so I learned my lesson
With protein, salads and light Italian dressin'
Eggs in the morning, a brand new expression
Of health, so alive, 'cause my life was back on track
I lost sixty pounds, didn't want to gain it back
Now the holidays are coming so I wrote a little poem
'Cause I'd hate to spend New Year's alone (and it goes)


When you're chubby
Girls won't sleep with you
When you're skinny
Hella girls sleep with you

When you're hefty
Bloggers make fun of you
Get those holiday treats off the menu

When you're chubby
Girls won't sleep with you
When you're skinny
Hot girls sleep with you

When you're portly
People make fun of you
Get those holiday treats off the menu

Once a upon a time I was on the swim team scarfin'
Everything I could, but these days I'd be barfin'
Back then adolescence had me growing on the daily
But I tried to keep the same caloric intake going maybe
But then I realized something, it was kind of obvious
Life is still delicious, no matter what the topping is
You're body's always changing, you've got to keep on top of it
Metabolism switches really there's no stoppin' it
It's all good though, take a deep breath,
Meditate a little, decimate the stress
Have a healthy meal, watch your favorite movie
Like "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" while snackin' on some sushi
Eddie Valiant stopped drinking he was thinking it was time
To put away the past and help Roger solve the crime
So please keep the pounds off, I'm guessing a
Balanced healthy meal will help you pull a chick like Jessica


Red Bull? We ain't drinkin' it
Mountain Dew? We ain't drinkin' it
Monster Energy? We ain't drinkin' it
Coca Cola? We ain't drinkin' it
Sprite? Nah, we ain't drinkin' it
Dr. Pepper? We ain't drinkin' it
Crystal Pepsi? We ain't drinkin' it
(Adam WarRock, tell 'em what you're thinkin' kid)


Ayo ho ho ho, yo Lars why you frontin'?
Comin' to get these cookies and milk, the Crunch 'n Munch
Up in the popcorn tins
And candy canes and gummy drops
Filling up your stockings, till the point it makes your tummy pop
Step into my gingerbread house, the second level
Take the staircase, now my breathing's all disheveled
And now I'm huffing and puffing, from thanksgiving stuffing
And the Halloween candy
My blood pressure's is rough and
Holidays come, they talk of mirth and glee
But deep down inside, the people hurting you see
So they fill it up with consumerism
While drinkin' themselves into oblivion
And chase it with high fructose syrup in
Holiday treats should be the people you love
And all the memories of the past year that you dug
I'm glad that I met Lars, thankful that he's feeling healthy
Indie rap, positivity, knowledge of self, b!


from The Frosty the Flow Man EP, track released December 20, 2011


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MC Lars Oakland, California

Post-punk laptop rap.


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