The Zombie Dinosaur LP

by MC Lars

/
1.
“Where Ya Been Lars? II” music by Chris Hunger lyrics by MC Lars CHORUS: Where ya been Lars, where ya been? (x8) VERSE 1: I’ve been touring every where just to bring those joyful smiles On a four-year long mission, guess this album took awhile been to Auckland, been to Glasgow, been to Anchorage and back now I rock a North Face jacket and a brand new A’s cap I’ve been at it for a decade, can’t believe I’m 32, Or how much of what I said on "Download this Song" came true I answered every single question on my Reddit AMA and for 17 whole minutes it was up on the front page I dropped an introspective album not a lot of people liked but I felt a little better when my Dad said it was tight (right?) I played Carnegie Hall and produced a hundred tracks I lost 35 pounds (yeah!), I gained 25 back (oh?) I gave a lot of hugs and I shook a lot of hands you will never meet an MC who’s more grateful for his fans (thank you guys!) I've been working on this TV show, it's really going great coming to the screen near you in 2038 The show’s called Yes, Yes Y’all!, and basically it’s the story of me and three robots, one spider, who travel through time to learn about history through a hip-hop cultural lens. There’s Pickles, the vituperative DJ with giant eyes that are turntables. There’s Michelle, the anthropomorphic microphone, and there’s Art the gigantic spray paint can… and then there’s Crazy Legs, who’s this spider with eight ADIDASes, who’s dancing and stuff like that. Imagine if Jam Master Jay had eight legs, how much vinyl he could mix? But anyway, you’ve got to wait for it because in the meantime, here’s my fourth album.
2.
“Zombie T-Rex” (featuring STZA Crack) music by MC Lars, Jim Greer and Damondrick “D.J.” Jack lyrics by MC Lars (shout out to Hot Karl for the TMNT lyric!) VERSE 1: The zombie t-rex is back, undead swag with that old-school rap ‘Cause it’s Kurtis Blow with that Nerdist flow, getting pterodactyl fly on the track Four records deep, five EPs, one mixtape, guess you can’t kill me? Poison when I spit it, Komodo dragon (yeah), nerdcore royalty, kimono draggin’ Sesquipedalian loquaciousness, no rapper ever born dared to rhyme like this MC Lars with the rhythmic alacrity, oratory skills ‘causing mad catastrophe ‘Cause my whole crew’s sick, like Kubrick, got your eyes wide shut for this apocalypse Let’s face it, I’m an awesome rapper, post-punk laptop velociraptor No, I won’t dumb it down for the mainstream fan, ‘cause the mainstream fan has lame taste man (yeah I said it) And I’m flying over hurtles, keep it underground like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles See, a funny thing happened on my way to the stage, waylaid by a stegosaurs snacking on my leg When I made my escape it was way too late, got that T-virus strain all up in my veins Bringing pain like the Necronomicon, iguanodon loose up at Comic-Con Tearing up your lawn like a mochlodon, take away your girl like I was Donkey Kong Jurassic park this van in your city every time I rock a show, ‘cause the fans all bounce when I light up the room with my pyroclastic flow, yo! CHORUS: Ahhh!! I’m a zombie t-rex! (No mercy, no surrender, zombie t-rex I’m killing it forever) (x4) VERSE 2: ‘Cause I make that smart music That hard DIY from the heart music That “Lars, he came to straight rock it,” music That burning down your local Hot Topic music that KRS-One on my album music that of you course I’ve read up on Malcolm music That PMA all day music That guy who gave you K.Flay music That RIP Pat Wood music That only want to do a bit of good music That got here on my own music That hey it's “Weird Al” in my phone music That lit-hop Edgar Allan Poe music That show your English teacher how to flow music That, TED Talk, read a book music That look it's STZA Crack on the hook music like CHORUS: Ahhh!! I’m a zombie t-rex! (No mercy, no surrender, zombie t-rex I’m killing it forever) (x4) Skip Turner: “Our top story tonight, a herd of zombie dinosaurs is lose in San Francisco, causing my damage and destruction than the city has ever seen. We go now live to the Golden Gate Bridge, where a zombie tyrannosaurs rex is currently ripping apart the suspension cables and pushing cars into the bay.” CHORUS: Ahhh!! I’m a zombie t-rex! (Killing it forever) Ahhh!! I’m a zombie t-rex! (No mercy, no surrender, zombie t-rex I’m killing it forever) x2 Skip Turner (continued): “Coming up after the break, San Francisco has already seen it’s local coffee markets impacted by these zombie dinosaurs. What these developments mean for your organic arabica. And then, enterprising young people are bringing gentrification to dinosaur caves and dens. We find the city’s best apocalyptic food trucks… and finally an Oxford study finds that white kids are still not hyphy. What can you do to help? We’ll cover it, after the break.”
3.
“Sublime with Rome (Is Not the Same Thing as Sublime)” (featuring Roger Lima and Suburban Legends) music by MC Lars, Watt White and Suburban Legends lyrics by MC Lars and Watt White VERSE 1: Summer time and promoters get sleazy Summer time, corporate bands get greedy When they play arena shows with $7 bottle waters A whole week’s paycheck to take your son or daughter Dead Kennedys, bought a ticket to see Jello, But he wasn’t there and I was like, “Hello?” Kill kill kill the poor punk rock anthem Then I went to see Sublime and I was like, “Damn son!” CHORUS: Sublime with Rome is not the same thing as Sublime Sublime with Rome was depressing and did not feel right (It’s not the same! It’s not the same!)
The “with Rome” part was printed too small (I saw the name, I’m not to blame) I thought it might be cool, but I was wrong VERSE 2: I paid fifty bucks to go and see the Wu, But ODB’s son kept missing all the cues Plus Raekwon’s mic kept going in and out When did ripping off the fans become what music was about? A Nirvana reunion? They never would do it because the band was Kurt and everyone knew it When MCA died yo the Beastie Boys said, “That’s it we’re done Now make some noise!” (You know!) CHORUS: Sublime with Rome is not the same thing as Sublime Should have stayed at home or at least been charged 1/3rd the price (It’s not the same!) It seemed like a good idea at the time you know (It’s not the same!) they’re down to only one original guy BRIDGE: My seat is miles from the stage sitting up in the back row Rome was born in ’88 so now I’m feeling hella old the Dalmatian’s spots seem painted on this band I’ve always meant to see Live Nation Santeria on my adolescent memories Just like the Misfits (it’s not the same) Or Guns N’ Roses (it’s not the same) or Black Flag (it’s not the same) Posthumously half-reunited bands are so disappointing! CHORUS: Sublime with Rome is not the same thing as Sublime Sex Pistols, Alice in Chains, it pains me that they can’t retire (It’s not the same! It’s not the same!)
It’s not the same thing as Sublime (It’s not the same! It’s not the same!) It’s not the same thing as Sublime Well at least their tour t-shirts are reasonably priced.
4.
Hipster Mom 04:24
“Hipster Mom” music by Bee Mick See, Rocky O’Reilly, MC Lars and Jordan Katz lyrics by MC Lars and Damondrick “D.J.” Jack Hipster Mom: “Oh my God, I never thought I’d ever hear MGMT again… but guess who popped up on the Yo Gabba Gabba! Spotify station yesterday?” VERSE 1: She’s late for baby yoga, but she’s looking hella fly breastfeeding out in public catching everybody’s eye with her brand new Orbit stroller and her probiotic smoothie at Whole Foods checking prices on that tasty vegan sushi with that Adbusters mag and her artisan toast she’s always shopping local and avoiding GMOs scoping out the Lululemon infant line on her phone using Amazon Mom cause she’s always on the go watching GIRLS on HBO, really takes her back to the Bushwick parties, and the vinyl stacks she misses Cafe Grumpy, and Brooklyn Label but when she’s back on Franklin she can never get a table she remembers Luna Lounge, where she passed out flyers for an underground band named Arcade Fire before Leena Dunham was successful and paid Hipster Girl was on the L, trying to find her way CHORUS: Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRA
Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay Hipster Mom: “This may seem like a stupid question, but is breast milk vegan? Can I call you back in a bit? I have to Skype my lactation consultant.” VERSE 2: She looks so good when she shops organic Because she cares about her baby and the future of our planet But life has gotten hectic, now that she’s become a mom though the charter school waiting list isn’t all that long and the Mandarin immersion that they offer every morning combines a bit of Waldorf and a bit Montessori and their rooftop playground has an urban petting zoo with recycled wood chips and a Manhattan view because her Greenpoint sublet had to go Bedford got too crowded and she’d seen enough shows So she married a designer and moved to Park Slope Found a nice Brownstone and they took out a loan And her Etsy store has been doing great since Ellen Paige, Instagrammed her diaper bouquets Before the Starbucks down on Union sold soy lattes There was Hipster Girl trying to find her way CHORUS: Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRA
Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay Well Hipster Girl grew up and now she makes it rain Amber teething necklace that she bought fair trade
Vegan chocolate cake for baby’s first birthday And Hipster Mom is ding okay Hipster Mom: “Did you hear? Jessica had an elective epidural? It’s like she doesn’t even care about the health of her newborn, how basic.” BRIDGE: No more TV on the radio it’s NPR where she heard the interview in her husband’s car with her ex-fiancé who had gone EDM but ever since her wedding it was hard to stay friends and his Coheed hoodie with the dragon fly? She’d kept it in her closet as the years went by “who’s ‘Cry Tonight’ about?” asked Terry Gross "A girl I knew in Brooklyn we were once very close” CHORUS: Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRA
Hybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay Well Hipster Girl grew up and now her world has changed The vintage Slayer onesie has begun to fade Still on the second page of Fifty Shades of Grey But Hipster Mom is doing okay Yeah Hipster Mom is doing okay (x3) Hipster Mom: “Are you kidding? Of course I’m not going to let her wear pink. Didn’t you see the Huffington Post article on Facebook this morning? Gender roles are so passé. That’s why I’m siding with Blossom on the whole Frozen controversy. Have you seen Blackfish? It is so sad. There is no way we’re ever going to have a party at Sea World… ever. Do you think the gold iPhone 6 clashes with her indigo aura?”
5.
Dragon Blood 03:00
CHORUS: I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? ‘Cause I’m always going hard with my Dothraki crew VERSE 1: Daenerys be the name and I’m setting hearts aflame When I’m burning down these villages and freeing all the slaves Wiz Khaleesi, have you met my dragons? My brother tried to sell me to Khal Drogo, look what happened A bit hot-headed with that molten golden crown I stopped the khalasar so don’t be messing with me now Looked my lover in the eye, winter’s coming, so am I I burned the witch alive who took my son and husband’s lives But I survived so crispy now these dragons have my back Suitors are so frisky and they always try to mac Xaro Xhoan Daxos, had to lock him in a vault Made my way to Slaver’s Bay but it was not my fault It was karmic retribution, there was no preparing 'em When Kraznys tried to mess with the wrong Targaryan Outsmarted him like Tyrion when I knew High Valyrian These creatures on my shoulders, well I think you should be fearing them (You are now watching the throne!) CHORUS: (x2) I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? ‘Cause I’m always going hard with my Dothraki crew Dothraki, Dothraki, Dothraki, Dothraki, Unsullied behind me, like I’m 'luminati It’s the mother of dragons, with my gigantic army We be marching to Meereen but no we didn’t come to party ‘Cause they crucify the slaves and put them on the cross Ser Jorah please get lost, I know you think I’m hot My schedule’s kind of busy, got no time Perriering White girl politicking, that’s Daenerys Palin From Dorne to the Stormlands, the North and beyond To the Westerlands, and Essos I’m keeping it strong From the Crownlands to the Reach, you know I’m getting love To the Riverlands and back because I’ve got that Dragon Blood So valar morghulis, I thought that you knew this But dragons aren’t people, you know we've been through this I’m quick to burn a hater, no mercy damager Smacking kings in the face like my name was Cersei Lannister Burn, burn, yes you’re gonna burn! (x4) CHORUS: (x4) I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do? I got Dragon Blood, what you want to do, son? ‘Cause I’m always going hard with my Dothraki crew Burn, burn, yes you’re gonna burn! (x4)
6.
“If I Were a Jedi, that Would be Hella Awesome” featuring Brian Mazzaferri, Watt White and the Kickstarter homies music by MC Lars, Brandon Arnovick, Watt White and the Kickstarter homies lyrics by MC Lars and Watt White VERSE 1: This beat is my recital, I think it’s very vital to use (the force) for good (of course) Lars Skywalker that’s my title! (here we go!) If I were a Jedi, I could out rap Busta Rhymes Going in like Qui-Gon Jinn for the win, I could flow in quadruple time And at the Canadian border, every time I went on tour I’d be like “this is not the undeclared MC Lars merch that you’re looking for" I could levitate like Yoda, I'd eradicate ebola I could pick up girls, literally, even master the viola I could read all of War and Peace in ten minutes, entirely in Russian just to say that I did it I could even catch that golden snitch playing Quidditch (Wait, wrong movie, innit?) Podracing up the 101, surpassing Golden Gate traffic (whoo!) R2 on the roof of my Prius (dude), I could FaceTime holographic I’d play for the A’s and we'd win every game Resurrect Mac Dre do it all for the Bay They’d all say hey Lars is neato And always let me cut the line at El Farrolito Two years ago, a friend of mine, asked me to say some Jedi rhymes so I said this rhyme, I’m about to say, I fought the Sith and it went this way CHORUS: If I were a Jedi, bet I’d get all the ladies I would mack it more than Dumbledore or Leto Atreides If you try to strike me down I’ll just be more powerful If I were a Jedi, that would be hella awesome (Singin’!) Do or do not there is no try! Do or do not there is no try! Do or do not, there is no try! And if you don’t believe it you will fail every time It’s a trap! (x2) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! It’s a trap!
7.
“Never Afraid” featuring Watksy and Charlyne Yi music by Jordan Katz, Charlyne Yi, MC Lars and Samarei lyrics by MC Lars, Watsky and Charlyne Yi CHORUS: 
CHARLYNE: I was never afraid (x4) VERSE 1: LARS: On a big blue couch in the corner of the kitchen, we went on many missions and amazing expeditions fying through the pages on that Magic School Bus, Shel Silverstein rode shortgun, but it was up to us to peel apart the layers and search for the dragons the cats wearing hats, Curious George and Peter Rabbit the newest freshest books? Mom always brought them home then in high school it was Steinbeck, Keats and Edgar Allan Poe WATSKY:
Don’t let the memories fade, we’ve got to make them last I was still a baby when Grandma Katy passed and passed on her hardcover novels, with the Sutherlin nameplates, our family gospel ‘cause I’m not sure if the lord is above, but I know that your mother is alive in the stories you love that you read to us when we were little, until we were grown and I’m gonna pass them on when I’ve got some kids of my own (Kids of my own) CHORUS: 
CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (of the monsters in the closet, it would be alright) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (reading Goosebumps up in Tahoe on those summer nights) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid WATSKY: (of a moaning ghost, or of a pile bones) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid
WATSKY: (even when the floorboards groaned) 
LARS: Did Stuart Little give up? (No!) He always persevered you came on stage at Warped Tour, remember how they cheered?
and unlike Jackie Paper I’ll be back to Honalee to play you my new demos, ‘cause you’re so honest with me at home you won’t put up with that rapper ego crap, ‘cause to you I’m still Andrew, and I’ll always treasure that I’d choose my own adventure, it’s taken me so far ghostriding giant peaches, catching seagulls with these bars WATSKY: Keep all your nickles and dimes, feed me your riddles and rhymes, read me your Wrinkle in Time, build me a bridge out to Terabithia, meet me at nine on the mysterious island, right at the scene of the crime come with Captain Nemo, but I’m emo, don’t leave me behind staring at the sun out on the cape until we’re legally blind freeze any Mutiny on the Bounty, just cary me there, out by Where the Red Fern Grows and just bury me there (Bury me there) CHORUS: 
CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (of the Twits or the Grinch or even Captain Hook) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (of Boggis, Bunce or Bean, no I was never shook) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid WATSKY: (of the Grendel or of Ichabod Crane) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid
WATSKY: (even when the Tripods came) CHARLYNE: Now suddenly, for the first time, I’m ready to be loved VERSE 3: LARS: And If I ever have kids, I’ll read them Stega Nona Lyle Lyle Crocodile, Matilda and Ramona WATSKY: I’ll never give ‘em the back of my hand, give ‘em the Giver, the River, Hatchet and Raggedy Ann LARS: And even as a rap fiend, mama you always kept my hats clean, mama WATSKY: Even though we have seen drama, you always had the vaccine, mama CHORUS: 
CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (of gettin’ lost in Narnia because we had a map) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid LARS: (in those Oakland Hills sitting on my mama’s lap) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid WATSKY: (in Jumanji, or of Anansi) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid
WATSKY: (there’s no Ork or Morlock that haunts me) CHARLYNE: I was never afraid (x4)
8.
“The Top 10 Things to Never Say on a First Date” music by Jordan Katz, MC Lars, Damondrick Jack and Watt White lyrics by MC Lars These are ten things to never say on a first date. Take note. Oh yeah, I believe in reproductive rights too, especially for guys. Have you heard of the men’s rights movement? No, no, no, no. Don’t order that. You’re probably the last person in this room who needs any more carbs tonight. Hey, you want to meet my parents next weekend? You remind me so much of my mom! CHORUS: These are ten things to never say These are ten things to never say These are ten things to never say on a first date! I’m not racist, but… My favorite author? You probably haven’t heard of him. I don’t think they teach Kierkegaard in the state schools. Be right back. I just have to do a number two. Let me tell you all the intricate details about my recent financial troubles. Not counting what’s probably going to happen later, how many other guys from Tinder have you slept with? CHORUS: These are ten things to never say These are ten things to never say These are ten things to never say on a first date! Can I take this call? It’s my ex. My favorite type of music? Probably nerdcore.
9.
“The Ballad of Hans Moleman” music by Kevin Brew, MC Lars and Mike Russo lyris by MC Lars CHORUS: Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down VERSE 1: Hans Moleman is his name a.k.a. Ralph Melish He’s a stone cold player Arti Ziff was mad jealous when he dated Selma first, plus he’s only 31 Drinking ruined his life, it’s such a sad story son Got a knife in his cane and a fire in his loins The indie movie star who took a football to the groin Burns thought he was a leprechaun, drilled him in the head Slept with Lars Ulrich’s grandmother then chilled with her in bed He’s more metal than Metallica, though that’s not so hard Homer drove him off a cliff, so impatient in his car, He was hauling Poe’s house, just another day for Hans but he’s back on his feet ‘cause he’s the motherflipping man You know there’s no escape from the Fortress of the Moles He’s been burnt, run over buried, but he’s still on a roll He’s been radiated, detonated, heart broken twice, The Lazarus of Springfield, always coming back to life his name is CHORUS: Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down (He’s the bad luck Brian of 920 Oak Grove, Hipster Glasses so thick and round) Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down (‘Cause he’s trying out for Poochie while he’s waiting on his kidney, he’s the talk of the whole darn town) VERSE 2: Have you seen his green pants, have you seen his new shirt? He wasn’t yelling “Boo!”, he was yelling “Boo-Urns!” Attacked by Roomba robots gone anthropomorphic He’s part Droopy the Dog and part Kenny McCormick He was riding on his Harley on the cover of his bio Crashed into Planet Hype yeah he's been up there for awhile He was texting Homer hit him, well surprise, he survived! he’s twice as cool as Millhouse though he can’t really drive Have you ever felt crushed by the weight of the planet? If you have, let me tell you that Hans Moleman understands it, But you’ve got to get up, you’ve got to put on your tie Lace up your orthopedic shoes, and look up at the sky And say hey, Solar rays, today you won’t burn me up Keep that Moleman PMA, you can break out of that rut, ‘Cause when you’re stuck in the snow and you’re starting to turn purple Just remember Hans Moleman when the wolves start to circle CHORUS: Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down (‘Cause he’s like Cowabunga dudes, with a skateboard in his hand Hipster glasses so thick and round) Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down (Even in his iron lung, well he’s still dependable He's the talk of the whole darn town) BRIDGE This player was the mayor over thirty years ago brought an anthem to the people he told everyone he wrote then one day it was discovered that whole thing was hoax so they tied him to a horse out in the desert, let him go CHORUS: Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down Moleman, Hans Moleman, you can’t keep Hans Moleman down
10.
“The Dip (featuring Kool Keith)” music by MC Lars, Monte Pittman and Jim Greer lyrics by MC Lars and Kool Keith KEITH: These aren’t kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. VERSE 1: 
KEITH: Destroying rappers like Judge Doom, kill that, Marvin Ac, cutting ‘em like sword and axe, that dip running through Toontown, these Looney Tunes, companies can’t stop that, havoc that independence, with suspense, like a villain, black trench creating a vengeance, soul greater, for the haters, never need no tactics, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, throwing lyrics out like javelins, spazzin’, animated individuals, rubbing their head, pitiful, saluting A1 generals whatever matters, competition, in position, opposition, contract for contract, I’m all that, just fall back, characters, no scavengers, they cartoons in art rooms artist, I’m a star in this, top notch, just check your watch live quick, I stay quick, animation reality, destroy the town they mad at me independent, like wheels spinnin’, water machine, time machine, melt down they head down in Toontown we come around, we rush out, no doubt! CHORUS: I’ll put this rabbit in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip Let’s put these toons up in the dip, when you dip, I dip, we dip I’ll put this shoe up in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip When I’m mobbin’, with the weasels, we can dip Toontown into the ground (x2) VERSE 2: LARS: Short bunny but my ears tall (uh!) Got a lot on my plate dog Only thug rabbit out here in Toontown Baby Herman put the knife down Pop a Weasle for my peoples, like (clap clap)  (ohhh) Giving haters dirt naps I got a girl and she always got that carrot cake it’s an interspecies romance (real rabbit ish) Roger be mobbing all day, with Mickey Mouse making that pay (uh!) Them cartoons from back in the day, Judge Doom won't be showing his face (uh!) He probably be after RK, the dip he be letting it spray I won't believe it! I can't believe it!  I shan't believe it!  No way ‘Cause Roger Rabbit don’t play, doing doughnuts all day with Eddie Valiant, we all about it, you best get out of our way You know I’m putting in work, these fools about to get murked  with that acetone and that turpentine and that benzine going berserk (Roger!) Rah - Roger Rabbit, Rah, Rah - Roger Rabbit Box office smash like I’m Rah - Roger Rabbit (yeah) Three dope shorts like I’m Rah - Roger Rabbit (uh!) One buck tooth like I’m Rah - Roger Rabbit CHORUS: I’ll put this rabbit in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip Let’s put these toons up in the dip, when you dip, I dip, we dip I’ll put this shoe up in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip When I’m mobbin’, with the weasels, we can dip Toontown into the ground (x2) KEITH: Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of fast food restaurants with Bible verses confusingly printed on cheeseburger wrappers and soda cups… and guitar retailers with wonderful, wonderful overpriced prosumer gear as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful! Check out this Squire start I got for $200, what a bargain! CHORUS: I’ll put this rabbit in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip Let’s put these toons up in the dip, when you dip, I dip, we dip I’ll put this shoe up in the Dip, when I dip, you dip, we dip When I’m mobbin’, with the weasels, we can dip Toontown into the ground (x2) OUTRO: Baron Von Rotten! Baron Von Rotten! Baron Von Rotten has very bad morals! (x4) Hold up wait a minute, let me put some bunny in it! (x4)
11.
“It's a Party with Lars (featuring Spose)” music by MC Lars and Jim Greer lyrics by Spose and MC Lars CHORUS: It’s a party with Lars, party with Lars! (x4) VERSE 1: SPOSE: Man, last time I partied with Lars, he was on the roof, mouth all bleeding with a broken tooth, he did a backflip with a broken leg, he turned around, spun around, looked at us said, “My name is MC Lars, I’m gonna jump off the roof!” we said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “I’m gonna do it!” we said “Don’t don it!”, He said, “I’m gonna do it!” then he did it, then he landed on his feet then he broke into a dance move, doing crazy types of shit that people can’t do he did the moonwalk, mixed it with the Macarena, all the girls aroused him, then they start masturbating, then he grew wings, then he floated right over the pool
“How is he doing that?” This dude is a fool! This shit was so cool, he parties so hard, nobody parties as hard when you party with Lars 
CHORUS: 
Man, this shit is insane (It’s a party with Lars, party with Lars!) With Zelda on a chain (It’s a party with Lars, party with Lars!) He was smoking cocaine (It’s a party with Lars, party with Lars!) You’ll be glad that you came 
VERSE 2: LARS: 
It’s a party with Lars… wait hold on Spose, what if my mom hears this?
12.
“Forgot About Jack” music by MC Lars and Jim Greer lyrics by MC Lars VERSE 1: Here’s the story of a dude named Jack Kerouac who hit the road ‘cause he was never coming back to write an epic book and see the country with a very close friend named Neal Cassady they were lovers but we didn’t know until much later ‘cause America then was full of homophobic haters it was all about the journey and spontaneous prose at the Six Gallery he heard Ginsberg flow ‘cause Jack went hard and got turnt up passed the port after he filled his cup A Catholic Buddhist with a giant heart wrote everything down the in the service of his art went to Big Sur, saw a dead otter thought about his mom his cat and his father drank himself to death in his Florida home was laid to rest in Lowell at 47 years old CHORUS: Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (The French Canadian Dharma Bum, who lived his life to the maximum) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (Writing poems down in Mexico, left his mark just to let you know) VERSE 2: Tupac Shakur, yes I’m sure, was the Kerouac of rap ‘cause they both opened doors they defined a culture, both died really young both came West and had hella fun they went out in the club with with their fans getting hyphy up in the bar with their crew drinking nightly prolific and brilliant and real and alive made poetry mainstream and changed people’s lives East Coast to Marin well they both made the treck the Thug Life purveyors who always caught wreck poets who loved and supported their moms and when they were focused their words were the bomb maligned by the press for their derelict ways the gangster aesthetic, a sideways beret the posthumous gifts of two iconoclasts RIP Tupac and RIP Jack CHORUS: Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (No commitments, feeling free, up all night writing constantly ) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (Literary iconoclast, who grabbed the moment and made it last) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (A Lonesome Traveller, On the Road, writing prose about the life he chose) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (Stacks of paper, piling up, shot of whiskey up in his cup) VERSE 3: And I’m talking about the Beats not the ones you’re hearing on Ableton ‘cause the whole hip-hop generation really could not have been enabled son to express a postmodern view point form the streets to the stage to the stadium without Burroughs or Ginsberg or Kerouac cause antiquated norms they were changing them with art and music and poetry and prose but counterculture then was a big no no cause Cold War America was all about fear conformity and status, ’57 was the year when On the Road changed the game then Howl and Naked Lunch set the world aflame it would never be the same as you already know Kerouac opened doors with that beatnik flow CHORUS: Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (World renowned for his honest words, shouted loud 'til his voice was heard) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (Defined a movement and paved the way, so MCs like me could take the stage) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (Bad reviews all in his face, but no one else could ever take his place) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (A Roman candle in the dark, who exploded like a spider across the stars) 
OUTRO: Nowadays everybody want,to tweet like they got something to say But nothing comes out when they move their thumbs, they just let their fingers run And bloggers wanna act like they forgot about Jack (x4) Who’s that? Jack, Jack, Jack Kerouac! Who’s that? (x2) Who’s that?
13.
Triforce 03:30
“Triforce” music by MC Lars, Damondrick “D.J.” Jack and Sebastian Hochstein lyris by MC Lars VERSE 1: Dear Sarah, I know it’s been a long time I heard that you got married, I heard you’re doing fine I heard you bought a house, that you’re happy and in love I heard you got your PhD, I heard you had a son time flies girl - how’s your brother? How’s Seattle? How’s your Dad? How’s your mother? I know I missed you when I last came to town You dropped off my guitar, but then you had to bounce so many memories, in that beat up case Big Sur, Idaho, Tahoe and the Bay And it was hard, how college changed it all, Thought we’d always be together but, life it proved us wrong Prom night, we looked so young in those photos When I picked you up in my parents red Volvo I wish you nothing but the best, you deserve it That mean song I wrote, well I wish you’d never heard it CHORUS: 
Power, wisdom, courage (I found the Triforce and I'll always let it guide me) Power, wisdom, courage (I've got the pieces and they've always been inside me) Power, wisdom, courage (I know it's been a while and we rarely speak) Power, wisdom, courage (I'm letting go these days, guess I found the link) VERSE 2: Dear Mary, How’s everything in Hyrule? hard to believe I've known you since high school Remember how we met at that Pharcyde show? One kiss, that was it, thought I’d never let you go In the mountains we kicked it, so spiritual you always brought the fire when we freestyled lyrical Those nights down in Oakland by Lake Merritt were the best Comic-Con, Amsterdam, SXSW some nights you made me happy, some nights you made me lazy Some nights made me jealous, some nights you made me crazy Some nights you made me laugh, some nights we just relaxed You made that food delicious, I’ll admit you made me fat So I had to move on - found support online I threw away the tools that had kept you in my life Found freedom at last when I realized that This Ocarina of Time, had kept me stuck in the past CHORUS: 
Power, wisdom, courage (I found the Triforce and I'll always let it guide me) Power, wisdom, courage (I've got the pieces and they've always been inside me) Power, wisdom, courage (No longer will I let you consume or define me) Power, wisdom, courage (I had to let you go and leave that dark world behind me) VERSE 3: Dear Andrew, how you been dude, what’s new? it’s been a minute since I last checked in with you I know that it’s been hard watching mom and dad get older But realize that they’re proud of their little rapper soldier Wish that you could give them grand kids pretty soon But your schedule on the road doesn’t leave a lot of room Plus this master of the suitcase, master of the sublet Is not honestly ready to be a dad yet wish you had real place to keep all you stuff ‘cause these storage locker bills they keep piling up you hope your sister’s not alone, forever and that your Uncle Joel somehow gets better Losing touch with friends ‘cause you're always on the go Fighting with your girl out in London on the phone ignore the serpents in the shadows, you’ll be fine dude You've got your music and amazing fans behind you CHORUS: 
Power, wisdom, courage (I found the Triforce and I'll always let it guide me) Power, wisdom, courage (I've got the pieces and they've always been inside me) Power, wisdom, courage (You're talking negative but I can't even hear you) Power, wisdom, courage (I'm watching Ganon eat my dust in the rear view) Power, wisdom, courage Power, wisdom, courage Power, wisdom, courage Power, wisdom, courage

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released November 6, 2015

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MC Lars Oakland, California

Post-punk laptop rap.

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